Hail the Conquering Heroes

So… Nearly a month late. That’s how I roll!

Rather than beat about the bush, here’s the entries, in no particular order.


The first three of the written entries were co-judged by the Evanda-Panda, and the comments associated with it are hers and not my own.

Perceived Effort: 8/10 Some minor grammar mistakes that could have been picked out if you’d done one more draft, but I say that more as a pointer for a writer than a serious nitpick.
Style/Quality: 6/10 It’s a decent piece but it lacks “Oomph.” Our Hero does something clever to disguise his cargo manifests but it doesn’t feel highlighted enough in the story – needs to be “bigged up” a little to capture the reader’s attention and engage a sense of awe. Likewise, a few more outside views of Our Hero early in the story, painting him a little darker, will make the good deed stand out more strongly in contrast.
Also, a Minmatart poster is NEVER a waste of ISK!
Total: 14/20.

Bucky O’Hairhttps://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&m=534065&#post534065
Perceived Effort: 2/10  Various versions of this song have been going around Eve since they first decided to put the “V” in the middle of it. For shame! On the other hand, there were only [four] entries in this category, so you’re quite a cunning fellow!
Style/Quality: 3/10. It just doesn’t seem very festive – fighting, ganking, suicide, these are not very nice things. Also, the beat of some of the lines and the rhythm of the song don’t line up, so you can’t actually sing it without injuring yourself.
Total: 5/20.

Mike Azariahhttp://mikeazariah.wordpress.com/2011/12/22/song-thing-different-and-seasonal/
Perceived Effort: 7/10
Style/Quality: 8/10 A very polished effort and Dean Martin is always win. I know you weren’t listening to the Dean Martin version but I was, in my head. A couple of lines don’t fit the beat easily but they’re the kind of thing that’s not glaringly audible in song. The spirit of the song is warm and fuzzy and gives a nice mental image of the couple cuddling over a laptop which seems quite Christmassy to me! Cute as hell, funny and our overall winner.
Total: 15/20.

Not too bad. Although its an image, I’m dropping this into the written section because I feel that’s where most of the time was spent on this entry. I like the Christmas card imagery, and the song is pretty good, even if there’s a few rogue syllables in there. 6/10 for effort, 7/10 for style/quality.
Total: 13/20.

The Winner (Written): I trust the Panda in literary shenanigans implicitly. Mainly because I know she spends most of her free time either writing, or writing about writing. That said, its still been quite a close battle, but Mike Azariah pulls through into the lead even if there’s no Minmatart poster. Well done, sir.


Lady SixSkieshttp://www.dreamaze.com/temp/eve/rudolph-the-red-nose-rifter_(minmatartsFTW).jpg
I really like this one, primarily the idea. I would never have thought of something like this, but its really very good. Right down the Christmassy light colours on the rifter, and the outpost chimney puffing out all of the snow in the globe. 7/10 for effort, and 9/10 for style/quality!
Total: 16/20.

Sonja Capricahttp://i.imgur.com/gQ3rP.jpg
I can certainly see what Sonja was going for. I’ve often looked at that piece of Eve art and been reminded of a Dickensian Christmas – just with more buttresses and pointy metal things! The ‘sexy santa’ outfit is a nice touch, though I can tell that Sonja is none too impressed at having to wear it… That said, the 3D rendered character against that backdrop do clash. 6/10 for effort, 6/10 for style/quality.
Total: 12/20.

DarkBloodRain – No link
My favouritest Brutor submitted a really lovely image involving Christmas hats, rum, hurricanes and Eve T-shirts. Sadly though, she just entered for the fun of the competition – which is fine, by the way! – and asked for me not to link to the image. This also means that I can’t really grade her compared to the other entries. Sorry DBR! <3

Celara Riraillehttp://imgur.com/MTxn8
This is an interesting concept, and it was only a matter of time before someone tried to use it. The entry itself seems a little lacklustre though. Maybe if the Myrm was pulling a sleigh laden with shiny presents or something… Anyway, 3/10 for effort, 2/10 style/quality (its a nice screenshot after all, even if it is a bit over-compressed).
Total: 5/20.

Tacit Malicehttp://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/846/christmaswreathe.jpg/
Puntastic! Its an Advent Wreath(e)! There’s not a lot more you can say about it, but it gave me a good chuckle when I saw it. 3/10 for effort, 6/10 for style/quality.
Total: 9/20.

Penelope Starhttp://dl.eve-files.com/media/1112/minmatartsftw_penelopestar.png
Penelope learned to use Photoshop for this entry. From a critical point of view, I think it would have been better in a widescreen aspect ratio as a desktop image or some-such. That way the horizontal ‘ribbon’ would be central vertically. Its a nice idea, and she should keep learning to shoop da whoop! 8/10 for effort, 6/10 for style/quality.
Total: 14/20.

Inquisitor K’hanhttp://mavrick566.deviantart.com/art/Jingling-Some-Balls-276847504
Ah K’han, I do enjoy your mischievous renders, and this one is no exception. I can see that the tree is the focal point. Its clearly a quick engineering job by a Sebiestor using whatever was lying around, as a commenter said: the true Minnie way. I like the subtle background image as well; I didn’t see this the first time I looked, but it would have been nice to see more in the scene itself, like some walls, a proper floor and maybe some more ‘scrapheap’ decorations. 6/10 for effort, 8/10 for style/quality.
Total: 14/20.

The Winner (Stills): Stills will always be the most popular category. I think this is because Eve is so undeniably pretty, and videos are such a pain in the arse to make, so there’s some happy middle-ground to be had with Photoshops and the like. Although there’s some close contenders, I think Lady SixSkies steals the show with this one; its such an amusing and festive concept and very well executed. Well done!


Arydanikahttp://www.voicesfromthevoid.net/2011/12/04/vandv-music-sansha-baby/ – and the lyrics: http://www.voicesfromthevoid.net/forum/discussion/68/vandv-music-sansha-baby/p1
A really excellent parody song! Arydanika has one of those voices that could lull me to sleep, or possibly into a false sense of security as she explodifies my ship. Lyrically very clever, and undeniably Christmassy in a very Eve-ish way. 8/10 for effort, and 8/10 for style/quality.
Total: 16/20.

Half Cocked Jackhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbdkdglb_KU
Sure, its a YouTube video, but the content is all audio, so that’s why I’m dropping it into this category. Brilliant, and very funny. Also playing the music as well as singing; you just can’t go wrong with that! 8/10 for effort, 9/10 for style/quality.
Total: 17/20.

The Winner (Audio): There may have only been two entries to this category, but it was a really closely fought battle. Both really good entries, but Jack took the lead purely because he played the music as well as singing. Nice one, Jack!


Very silly. I would have loved to have seen the finished thing. I hope you got your laptop back OK, noise. Having stuff stolen is really horrible. 🙁 6/10 for effort, 6/10 for style/quality.
Total: 12/20.

noise may have lost a laptop, but at least he got something out of his entry. I know ISK isn’t even close to valuable, but maybe he can spend it on some ships to go explode people with to make himself feel better.

Crazy Stuff

Rifter cookies! Hell yes! 😀 I hope they were tasty. Just about making the requirements for entry with the red/green colour scheme and token Santa oven mitt. Nicely played sir, nicely played. 8/10 for effort, 7/10 for style/quality. I’m a sucker for baked goods…
Total: 15/20.

Relicc automatically wins this category, because much like with videos, there’s only one entry. Lucky bugger!

Overall Winner

Rather than face a particularly difficult task in deciding which entry I liked the very best, I’m going to award this based on total points.

There were some very high quality entries this year. Still less total entries than I’d like to see, but its always nice to see what people come up with, even if there’s only a few people trying their luck.

Half Cocked Jack edges into the lead with the highest score (17/20), which might make me a stingy scorer, but nevermind. Very well done. If you would care to Evemail me a postal address, then I will send out your goodies. If you’re a really long way away I might have to wait until my payday, since some of this stuff is quite heavy.

Category winners will be receiving their ISK (2.75b each) and their ships shortly in-game.

All entrants who didn’t win anything above with be getting something nice for their efforts as well.

Thanks everyone, and good luck with the next one! 😉

Comments for this Post

6 thoughts on “Hail the Conquering Heroes”

  1. Relicc
    01st Feb '12 at 1:25 am

    Yes! I win by default! hehe, you’re the best 🙂

    Thanks to everyone who entered, these were fun to look at.

    Hope you have another one next year, and get even more participants!


  2. 01st Feb '12 at 8:48 am

    Thank you very much . . . most frustrating thing about this prize is I am currently in a wh and unable to try out the ships . . . .


  3. 01st Feb '12 at 10:22 am

    Many thanks for the prizes! They certainly will help me blow things up once I acquire a replacement machine to run EVE on properly. That will be soon 😀

    Some great entries, Half Cocked Jack deserves his grand prize. It’s an excellent song. I wish I could sing. Or perhaps I wish I’d actually pick up my guitar once and a while!

  4. Relicc
    10th Feb '12 at 1:07 am

    I spent all my money, I need more!

    • 10th Feb '12 at 4:00 am

      You need help!

      • Relicc
        11th Feb '12 at 5:45 pm


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